I am not ashamed . . .

. . . to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Lately it seems that one ought to be ashamed, what with all the cries of “haters” against the members of the church and the Church itself.  And honestly, that really makes me sad, because I don’t hate anyone. I think that if any organization is allowed to speak out in favour of its view of morality, it ought to be a church or religious organization. Yes, members of my faith actively worked to help the passage of Prop 8 in California. Does that mean they hate homosexuals? Far from it–they (we) (I) believe that marriage is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman, and God. That’s not our definition–that’s God’s definition.

I’ll admit openly that I’ve struggled a lot with this issue. I have some people who are very, very dear to me who are homosexual. I see the things they fight against every day, and it breaks my heart. So when I tell you that I stand beside my church leaders, please understand that means a lot. I’m risking hurting people I love, having them think I hate homosexuals, hate people who don’t fit into a certain mold. Trust me–I don’t fit into any molds myself, and I know what it feels like to be deeply hurt by people I love.

This has been incredibly difficult to see unfold. I see photographs of people, their faces twisted in anger and hatred. I see them seemingly singling out the LDS Church for the success of proposition 8, and see them identify us as haters. I see ugly signs posted outside the temples that I hold to be sacred places. I see hurt, anger, frustration, and bewilderment everywhere.

I know there are continued demonstrations and rallies planned outside LDS temples. I know that there is serious call for a boycott of Utah. I know people are seeking to have the Church’s tax-exempt status revoked.  All those actions will not change the mind and will of Heavenly Father, anymore than a child’s wheedling and whining will not change the mind of its parents should the end result in harm to that child.  I’m reminded of a verse of scripture: “How long can rolling waters remain impure? What power shall stay the heavens?  As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints” (Doctrine & Covenants 121:33)

I don’t know personally any LDS members who will tell you they know why things are the way they are, but like everyone else does in this world, we walk in faith, even when it’s hard.  I know that not everyone shares that faith, but everyone has faith in something, whether it be himself/herself, science, family, or anything else that gives people something to cling to.

I  say again that I am not ashamed to be a member of this church. I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I wish that I were a better person, but with all that I know and do, I want to follow Him.